Seeing Red. 33.

day burns down to night, burns the edge of my soul. in the night i break into sparks of suns, and become fires end; the dust of bones. night knifes my breath swallows whole my tounge, turn back, reverse, return. in the night i see the real concealed in days bright lie. eyes stitched shut, white teeth smile, sleep walks and talks, and feet mark time to the drumless beat. - Nick Powell, The Invisible.

Seeing Red.

so who the fuck are you to tell me who to be?

i swore along these ashes strewn across my bed

you mean nothing to me

i let go of everything we used to see

and opened up to the future

why did it have to be so hopeless until now?

i closed my ears and listened with my eyes to the sound of your heartbeat

ever changing

winter took its toll on you, i see, my love

who knows how long you'll last

i'll lie through my fucking teeth to save you

but why's my heart so hard to reach

i can't make up my mind

save the lost cause or grasp onto the unrequited

point me in the right direction

give me a sign

bright lights spell out your name through these city streets.

the blood, sweat and tears. 32.

oh how i want to tell you.

and no it's not who you're thinking.

fort. 31.

Poussin in Hell by Joel-Peter Witkin

how they did this without photoshop is beyond me....creepy.

making people smile is what i do best.

Technical And Further Education. 30.

thought i'd do my 30th update somewhere different; at TAFE.
it's less than 2 hours till the nude shoot...very disturbed. lawl.
might keep this short incase i get into trouble x)

i should be paying attention to the current trends powerpoint on the projecter...but...yeah.
i'm a little preoccupied, not just by this x)

yes we will hang out soon lol. you knew that.

and im disappointed in you, liar. XD

how long? 29.

fantasy versus reality

so tell me where did it go wrong

i've heard it all before

i've heard it all before

hold me till the sun is gone

i won't admit it now

i won't admit it at all.

i'm feeling very...lyrical. these are all mine. NO STEALAGE!

it couldn't be harder, begging for you to hear me through these walls

and every step i take, every other move i make, i couldn't change your mind

it's too late, you've already moved on

i'm too late, you're too far gone

was this the only mistake..

will you, won't you, will you, won't you, join the dance? 28.

do i have anything to say? no.

cute.

i miss having a best friend. 27.

a little gone on new years.

i love how we're still close, just not as close as we used to be. after what happened.

but i miss the feeling of knowing i had a best friend. i guess in some ways you're still that person to me; my soul mate. i'm starting to believe we were actually right all those years ago. miss you Kels.

ahh i don't know where several things are going these days. eh

so into tattoos at the moment. i want to be 18 so bad XD

i have some planned though. suppose i can share them with you :)

a friend who meant alot to me draws pretty damn good. i have a design of a swallow, two hearts and some swirly stuff that im planning on using as a tattoo base. might ask him if he can re do it smaller though...and not sure where that will go yet :S next is a running wolf im gonna get another good friend to draw for me, shes also an amazing artist. that will probably go either on the small of my back or on the side of my hip. next is lyrics from a song that i love, and means something to me

i'll find my way, would fall from grace, with the little piece of you that's left in me

probably going to go on my left forearm. that will have to be
later, after mums gotten used to the idea of me having tattoos....lawl

and finally i want to get paramore's Brand New Eyes butterfly,
alot smaller than the picture, on my right ankle. because i like butterflys,
it
was my first car sticker and paramore will always be my favourite band,
and if
they somehow fade out for me i'll still remember the goood times :)
so thats the
plan for now. interesting huh?

lawl.

blogger, you fucked up my blog at the end dammit.

loves. 26.

skill. x)

ummm. i love Logan Lerman. that is all.

I've Been Awake For A While Now. 25.

a little disgruntled. i was in a better mood before tonight.

it was an interesting day though. got some pretty good photos :)
finally talking to you properly was good. i have to watch myself though.

Ramsay's kitchen nightmares makes me lol. havent watched this for ages. good times.

eh i had a whole blog planned but im too annoyed to remember what it was. goodnight Blogger.

excuses. 24.

I get so distracted
By some peoples reactions
That I don't see my own faults
For what they are
For what they are

At times so self destructive
With no intent or motive
But behind this emotion,
My sensible heart
A sensible heart

See I'm no king
I wear no crown
But desperate times,
They seem over now
But still I weaken somehow
It tears me apart
It tears me apart

I hope to learn as time goes by
That I should trust what's deep inside
Burning bright, oh burning bright
My sensible heart
My sensible heart
My sensible heart
My sensible heart


those lyrics mean so much to me right now. that's me summed up in 3 minutes and 22 seconds. unbelieveable.


um. thats it for now. after finding that i dont really need to type what i was going to..

Move Along. 23.

curiosity.

i hate people who just sit on the sidelines. if you want something, reach out and take it. if you can't then it isn't meant to be.
i like making new friends :)




spose i'd better go clean my car. eh.

spilling every lie you've spilled before, still i'm not forgiving you.




oh hello gorgeous lol

reminiscing. 22.

there are alot more, but of course i can't upload them...thanks blogger.

i'm just remembering all the good times and waiting for more to come.

I Could Have Been So Much More. 21.

i just want you to know there isn't a moment where i don't stop and think 'what am i doing?'
in saying that it doesn't change anything. i'm a hazard to myself let alone anyone else.
it's always about the chase, once you have it it's no fun anymore. like a cat playing with a mouse; it's no fun once it's caught.
these words aren't helping you, i don't know why i bother coz it's all a lost cause on my end.
i have to get this out of my head, cause it will never work because of me, and you deserve someone so much better. but i cant imagine my life without you. you had me at hello.

bats just started going ape shit outside my window :S

anyway, where was i. buy me some skullcandys :3 i kid, i kid. those jeans will do perfectly fine. lawl.


i love music. i don't know what i'd do without my post-hardcore tunes. probably combust from all the poppy music in this world.


i'm finding it really hard to get motivated right now. and it's important cause of tafe. so that's kinda bad. ahhhhh. i just feel so distant from everything, like the feeling of being alone in a room full of people...its frustrating. i wish i didn't have to work tomorrow ><

-would it be okay, would it be okay if i took your breath away-
listening to music while im trying to write is a bad idea, the italics stuff is lyrics...fyi.


eh i don't have anything else to say. there's my two feelings at the moment...


ah; there's someone else who's come back into the picture.

ouch. 20.

i think my scaffolding is now infected -.- the bar i changed it to was too tight, now my bottom one which was pretty much healed is back to the beginning...was bleeding heaps :( but i have a bigger bar in now, hopefully it heals with time.


ahhhh bored now. done so much shopping in the last two days. not even much but i havent bought stuff for myself for ages. got a jacket, jeans, two new lense filters, a lense cleaner, a new bag and new shoes :)
apart from that i dont really have anything else to say...oh! Sushi with Alex tomorrow!! havent seen her since she left work, it will be awesome catching up again :)
AHHHH THEN ALICE IN WONDERLAND WITH HAYREE AND MELISSA :D
almost forgot :O
well yeah now thats it lol.

oui monsieur. 19.

je trouverai mon chemin, tomberait de grace, avec le petit morceau de vous qui est laisse en moi...